And what's that supposed to mean?Big Bob's Bastard BeansHave you got any of those big tellies?I like to think of myself as a bit of a romanticDo WeCheckout supervisor... really!Why do you keep buying cheap crap?Bottled in the mountains of Afghanistan?BollocksOh aye, we got to get a bit of porn on that for the ladsBit of manners cost nothingHello BoysHave you got any plasma screens?Good morning anals, good morning CharlieI've got a beautiful 22 inch FutabaWhat we need is a bit of fun and gamesErmEheheheheyeahThat's the thing I cant. Well I can and I cantHow dare youHow dare you 2How dare you 3Ho ho hoHeyHe's a case ain't he. Crackers that ladI like a girl with special needsOh no I don't mean a girl with special needsIn a nutshell, you stinkYou can forget thatWhat's thatThis is the front room, that's my room. Tour overSpeaking of arsesOh yes, the old shore leave, batter down the hatches and all thatCome here I'll rip your bastard head off. Paddy has needs!Pleasures of the flesh Max!Smell of perfume wafting across the nostrilsOh you're on your arseOh yes here we go ding dang do!Oh yeahOh Jesus noI am not watching Charlie's anals like thatWhat we'll be watching won't be for the families my friend.Well lets go out dressed as a couple of Nazi's then, see how far we get.Its like living with a bloody woman
Brian Potter was a glorious sitcom character - stingy, mean-spirited, calculating, excitable, embittered - yet while the lowbrow, downbeat air of northern clubland was palpable, Phoenix Nights was an affectionate rather than patronising take on the subject. The performances were perfectly pitched and the many guest appearances from clubland personalities (either as themselves or in character parts) were excellently judged. Inspired lines and comedy moments abounded from first scene to last. The sum total was another comedy extravaganza for the richly talented Peter Kay, whose stock rose steadily as a result - by the second series both he and Phoenix Nights had become the comedy talk of the town.