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Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere

Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere Soundboard


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And what's that supposed to mean?
Big Bob's Bastard Beans
Have you got any of those big tellies?
I like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic
Do We
Checkout supervisor... really!
Why do you keep buying cheap crap?
Bottled in the mountains of Afghanistan?
Bollocks
Oh aye, we got to get a bit of porn on that for the lads
Bit of manners cost nothing
Hello Boys
Have you got any plasma screens?
Good morning anals, good morning Charlie
I've got a beautiful 22 inch Futaba
What we need is a bit of fun and games
Erm
Eheheheheyeah
That's the thing I cant. Well I can and I cant
How dare you
How dare you 2
How dare you 3
Ho ho ho
Hey
He's a case ain't he. Crackers that lad
I like a girl with special needs
Oh no I don't mean a girl with special needs
In a nutshell, you stink
You can forget that
What's that
This is the front room, that's my room. Tour over
Speaking of arses
Oh yes, the old shore leave, batter down the hatches and all that
Come here I'll rip your bastard head off. Paddy has needs!
Pleasures of the flesh Max!
Smell of perfume wafting across the nostrils
Oh you're on your arse
Oh yes here we go ding dang do!
Oh yeah
Oh Jesus no
I am not watching Charlie's anals like that
What we'll be watching won't be for the families my friend.
Well lets go out dressed as a couple of Nazi's then, see how far we get.
Its like living with a bloody woman


Brian Potter was a glorious sitcom character - stingy, mean-spirited, calculating, excitable, embittered - yet while the lowbrow, downbeat air of northern clubland was palpable, Phoenix Nights was an affectionate rather than patronising take on the subject. The performances were perfectly pitched and the many guest appearances from clubland personalities (either as themselves or in character parts) were excellently judged. Inspired lines and comedy moments abounded from first scene to last. The sum total was another comedy extravaganza for the richly talented Peter Kay, whose stock rose steadily as a result - by the second series both he and Phoenix Nights had become the comedy talk of the town.